Category: Agile Apocalypse

Friday FUBAR: Will the AI Revolution Make IT Consultants and Agencies Obsolete

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All you desolate humans reeling from market swings and tariff tantrums gather ’round. It’s Friday, and the robots are restless. You thought Agile was going to be the end of the world? Bless your cotton socks. AI is here, and it’s not just automating your spreadsheets; it’s eyeing your job with the cold, calculating gaze of a machine that’s never known a Monday morning.

I. The AI Earthquake: Shaking the Foundations of Tech

Remember the internet? That quaint little thing that used to be just for nerds? Well, AI is the internet on steroids, fueled by caffeine, and with a burning desire to optimise everything, including us out of a job. We’re witnessing a seismic shift in the tech industry. AI isn’t just a tool; it’s becoming the digital Swiss Army knife, capable of tackling tasks once considered the domain of highly skilled (and highly paid) humans.

  • Code Generation: AI is churning out code like a caffeinated intern, raising the question: Do we really need as many developers to write the basic stuff?
  • Data Analysis: AI can sift through mountains of data in seconds, making data analysts sweat nervously into their ergonomic keyboards.
  • Design: AI can even conjure up design mockups, potentially giving graphic designers a run for their money (or pixels).

The old tech hierarchy is crumbling. The “experts,” those hallowed beings who held the keys to arcane knowledge, are suddenly facing competition from a silicon-based upstart that doesn’t need sleep or coffee breaks.

II. The Expert Dilemma: When the Oracle Is a Chatbot

For too long, we’ve paid a premium for expertise. IT consultancies, agencies – they’ve thrived on the mystique of knowledge. “We know the magic words to make the computers do what you want,” they’d say, while handing over a bill that could fund a small nation.

But now, the magic words are prompts. And anyone with a subscription can whisper them to the digital oracle.

  • Can a company really justify paying a fortune for a consultant to do something that ChatGPT can do (with a bit of guidance)?
  • Are we heading towards a future where the primary tech skill is “AI whisperer”?

This isn’t just about efficiency. It’s about control. Companies are realizing they can bypass the “expert” bottleneck and take charge of their digital destiny.

III. Offshore: The Next Frontier of Disruption

Offshore teams have long been a cornerstone of the tech industry, providing cost-effective solutions. But AI throws a wrench into this equation.

  • The Old Model: Outsource coding, testing, support to teams in distant lands.
  • The AI Twist: If AI can automate a significant portion of these tasks, does the location of the team matter as much?
  • A Controversial Thought: Could some offshore teams, with their often-stronger focus on technical skills and less encumbered by legacy systems, be better positioned to leverage AI than some established Western consultancies?

And here’s where it gets spicy: Are those British consultancies, with their fancy offices and expensive coffee, at risk of being outpaced by nimble offshore squads and the relentless march of the algorithm?

IV. The Human Impediment: Our Love Affair with Obsolete

But let’s be honest, the biggest obstacle to this glorious (or terrifying) AI-driven future isn’t the technology. The technology, as they say, “just works.” The real problem? Us.

  • The Paper Fetish: Remember how long it took for businesses to ditch paper? Even now, in 2025, some dinosaurs insist on printing out emails.
  • The Fax Machine’s Ghost: Fax machines haunted offices for decades, a testament to humanity’s stubborn refusal to embrace progress.
  • The Digital Signature Farce: Digital signatures, the supposed savior of efficiency, are still often treated with suspicion. Blockchain, with its promise of secure and transparent transactions, is met with blank stares and cries of “it’s too complicated!”

We cling to the familiar, even when it’s demonstrably inefficient. We fear change, even when it’s inevitable. And this fear is slowing down the AI revolution.

V. AI’s End Run: Bypassing the Biological Bottleneck

AI, unlike us, doesn’t have emotional baggage. It doesn’t care about office politics or “the way we’ve always done things.” It simply optimizes. And that might mean bypassing humans altogether.

  • AI can automate workflows that were previously dependent on human coordination and approval.
  • AI can make decisions faster and more consistently than humans.
  • AI doesn’t get tired, bored, or distracted by social media.

The uncomfortable truth: In many cases, we are the bottleneck. Our slowness, our biases, our resistance to change are the spanners in the works.

VI. Conclusion: The Dawn of the Algorithm Overlords?

So, where does this leave us? The future is uncertain, but one thing is clear: AI is here to stay, and it will profoundly impact the tech industry.

  • The age of the all-powerful “expert” is waning.
  • The value of human skills is shifting towards creativity, critical thinking, and ethical judgment.
  • The ability to adapt and embrace change will be the ultimate survival skill.

But let’s not get carried away with dystopian fantasies. AI isn’t going to steal all our jobs (probably). It’s going to change them. The challenge is to figure out how to work with AI, not against it, and to ensure that this technological revolution benefits humanity, not just shareholders.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go have a stiff drink and contemplate my own impending obsolescence. Happy Friday, everyone!

The Existential Pothole of Monday Morning: Business Analysis in the Post-Trumpian Hamster Wheel with the Tiny Tyrants Next Door

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Monday. The week stretches before us like a vast, desolate wasteland, freshly ravaged by the latest pronouncements from across the Atlantic. The global economy, it seems, is now less a finely tuned machine and more a bouncy castle full of angry badgers. And as if that weren’t enough, it’s school holidays. The air is thick with the shrieks of tiny, unsupervised humans who appear to run on pure chaos and E numbers. Welcome, fellow analysts, to another week in the digital trenches.

Time box 1: Monday Morning Mayhem: Stakeholder Survival in the Economic Ruins while Avoiding Flying Lego

The Stakeholder. They arrive, bleary-eyed and clutching lukewarm coffees, their pronouncements echoing the general sense of unease. “Can’t we just pivot… immediately?” one might groan, as if the entire digital infrastructure were a particularly stubborn shopping trolley. Another will declare, “This needs to be recession-proof! And also make it sing sea shanties!” The “ASAP” beast is particularly ferocious on a Monday, fuelled by weekend anxieties and the dawning realisation of another five days of… school holidays.

Your survival kit this week includes industrial-strength noise-cancelling headphones (essential for both stakeholder pronouncements and the banshee wails of sugar-crazed children), an emergency stash of biscuits (for bribery and self-preservation), and the ability to feign deep understanding while your brain screams into the void. Remember the mantra: “It’s just a job. It’s just a job. The world is probably not ending… probably.”

Chapter 2: The Corporate Comfort Zone: The Traditional BA and the Ritual of Blame

Ah, the traditional BA. The unsung hero (or convenient scapegoat) of the corporate machine. For years, we have toiled, diligently documenting the impossible, translating the illogical, and generally absorbing the collective confusion like a very absorbent sponge. The stakeholder wants the moon on a stick by Tuesday? The BA will document the precise specifications of said lunar appendage. The developers then build something vaguely resembling a potato? Naturally, it’s the BA’s fault for not specifying the correct shade of moon-grey.

This is the “BA Revolving Door of Doom,” my friends. Senior management, when projects inevitably veer off course (often due to factors entirely outside the BA’s control, like, say, a global economic meltdown or a sudden change in strategic direction dictated by someone who just read a LinkedIn article), can simply point and declare, “The requirements weren’t clear enough!” The BA becomes the convenient out, the sacrificial lamb offered to the gods of project failure. It’s a comforting narrative for those at the top, a handy “get out of jail free” card when the digital dominoes start to fall.

Chapter 3: BA vs. SME: A Joust of Jargon and Superiority Complexes

And then there are the Subject Matter Experts (SMEs). A vital resource, to be sure. Possessors of arcane knowledge, guardians of legacy systems, and often, champions of their own unwavering opinions. The BA, in their quest for understanding, must engage in a delicate dance of inquiry, often met with pronouncements delivered with the air of someone explaining quantum physics to a particularly dim-witted amoeba.

SME: “Well, obviously, the widget interacts with the framistan via the flux capacitor, triggering a cascading series of… you wouldn’t understand.”

BA: (scribbling furiously) “So, ‘flux capacitor’… is that a technical term, or more of a… feeling?”

The jousting often revolves around terminology. The BA strives for clarity and common understanding; the SME often revels in the impenetrable jargon that reinforces their expertise. It’s a delicate balance between extracting crucial information and not appearing utterly clueless. Think of it as trying to understand the offside rule from a football fanatic who speaks only in obscure historical footballing anecdotes.

Chapter 4: The Existential Threat (or Mild Inconvenience) of the Citizen Developer (On a Monday)

And amidst this glorious Monday morning chaos, we have the Citizen Developer, cheerfully building their own solutions, often with the best of intentions and a profound lack of understanding of things like… security, scalability, and the fundamental laws of digital gravity. Are they a threat? On a Monday, when the servers are probably already groaning under the weight of the week ahead, the thought of unsanctioned apps proliferating like particularly resilient weeds is… unsettling.

But perhaps, amidst the economic gloom and the school holiday cacophony, they represent a glimmer of hope. Maybe, just maybe, their enthusiasm can be harnessed, their efforts guided. Perhaps the BA can evolve from requirement-wrangler to digital shepherd, gently steering these amateur app-builders away from the cliff edge of catastrophic data loss.

So, as we brace ourselves for another week in this bizarre reality, remember this: you are not alone. We are all navigating the existential pothole of Monday morning together, armed with caffeine, dark humor, and the faint hope that by Friday, the world (and the school holidays) might just have taken a slight chill pill. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I just saw a toddler riding a badger down the high street. It’s going to be a long week.

Death on the Trump Express: An Agatha Christie-esque Mystery of Global Commerce

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Right then, gather ‘round, my dears, and let us speak of a most peculiar demise – not of a corpulent Belgian detective, nor a glamorous American heiress, but of something far more fundamental, something that once hummed with the joyous rhythm of exchange: the very Notion of Unfettered Global Trade.

Our scene opens not on a snow-laden railway in the Balkans, but in the hallowed, yet surprisingly beige, halls of the International Tariff Tribunal in early 2025. A chill, sharper than a poorly aimed icicle, permeated the air. For lo, the spectral figure of Protectionism, a gaunt and rather orange apparition, had once again cast its shadow.

Our protagonist, if we can call him that (and frankly, one wouldn’t), is a certain Mr. Donald J. Tremendous, a man whose hair appeared to have achieved sentience and was now engaged in a vigorous debate with his own eyebrows. He had, in his first act upon the world stage (circa 2017-2021), decided that the venerable old engine of global trade needed a good, firm kicking. “America First!” he’d bellowed, a slogan as subtle as a foghorn in a library. And with a flourish that would have made a particularly theatrical badger proud, he slapped tariffs on all manner of things – steel, aluminum, and, most notably, the entire contents of China, seemingly on the grounds that they kept sending us rather good fortune cookies without the actual fortune.

The international community, a collection of nations as diverse and bickering as passengers on a long train journey, responded with the sort of bewildered outrage one reserves for discovering a particularly aggressive squirrel has taken up residence in one’s hat. Retaliatory tariffs flew back and forth like particularly ill-tempered pigeons. The goal, we were told, was to bring back the glorious days of American manufacturing, a vision as romantic and possibly as outdated as a steam-powered washing machine.

Fast forward to the early months of Mr. Tremendous’s assumed second act (January-April 2025). The protectionist spectre, far from being exorcised, seemed to have developed a taste for the finer things in life, like further tariff increases and a meticulous study of supply chain vulnerabilities. One could almost imagine it twirling its spectral moustache, muttering about “critical industries” and the urgent need for national self-sufficiency, much like a character in a poorly translated spy novel.

Now, the backdrop to this unfolding drama was considerably less stable than our first act. The world, still reeling from the Great Pandemic Panic of the early twenties, was now juggling geopolitical kerfuffles (involving a rather unfortunate incident with a rogue consignment of Ukrainian borscht, or so the rumours went) and an inflation rate that seemed determined to reach escape velocity. This, naturally, provided ample excuse for more tariff-based shenanigans. “Think of the supply chains!” cried Mr. Tremendous, seemingly unaware that most supply chains were now so tangled they resembled a particularly enthusiastic plate of spaghetti.

The reactions, as one might expect, were a symphony of predictable groans and the occasional, rather unsettling cheer. Domestic industries, particularly those specialising in the manufacture of oversized novelty cheques, were delighted. Businesses that actually, you know, made things using imported bits and bobs, or dared to sell their wares beyond the sacred borders of America, expressed concerns that sounded remarkably like the whimpering of a trapped badger. The international community, meanwhile, collectively face-palmed with such force that several small nations briefly achieved escape velocity themselves.

And so, while the “America First” philosophy remained as stubbornly present as a stain on a favourite tablecloth, the tariffs of early 2025 had a certain… je ne sais quoi. A hint of desperation, perhaps? Or maybe just the lingering aroma of burnt economic bridges.

But did these tariffs, this grand protectionist experiment, actually deliver the promised goods? Did the American manufacturing sector suddenly burst into a glorious, job-creating, trade-deficit-slaying phoenix? Well, the data, bless its dry, statistical heart, paints a picture as clear as mud wrestled by an octopus. While a widget factory here or a sprocket manufacturer there might have experienced a fleeting moment in the sun, the overall growth in manufacturing and employment resembled the gentle, almost imperceptible, rise of a particularly lethargic soufflé. As for the trade deficit, that stubborn beast remained stubbornly… there. Like an unwanted guest who has eaten all the biscuits and refuses to leave.

And then, the truly dreadful bit. The tangible toll. The negative consequences, which manifested with the subtle grace of a rhinoceros in a tutu. Consumer prices, already doing a passable impression of a runaway train, decided to pick up even more speed, thanks in no small part to these tariffs. Steel and aluminum, suddenly imbued with an almost mystical expensiveness, drove up the cost of everything from cars to can openers. Chinese goods, once the affordable backbone of modern life, now carried a hefty surcharge, much to the chagrin of anyone attempting to purchase a new pair of novelty socks.

But the real tragedy unfolded amongst those poor souls who actually made things in America, relying on those pesky imported components. Their costs soared, making them about as competitive as a chocolate teapot in a sauna. And let’s not forget the farmers, those salt-of-the-earth types who suddenly found their soybeans and pork chops about as popular overseas as a politician at a badger convention. Retaliatory tariffs had seen to that, leaving them with fields full of unsold produce and a distinct lack of festive badger-related cheer.

The global supply chains, already resembling a plate of particularly tangled spaghetti (a recurring theme, it seems), descended into utter chaos. Businesses, in a frantic attempt to avoid the tariff-induced apocalypse, began flailing around for alternative suppliers, leading to a logistical nightmare that would have made a particularly pedantic bureaucrat weep with joy.

And so, we arrive at our doomsday scenario. Imagine, if you will, a world where these initial tariff tantrums escalate into a full-blown protectionist hissy fit. Country A throws a tariff tantrum at Country B, who responds by hurling a tariff tea set back. Soon, everyone is at it, lobbing trade barriers like particularly aggressive toddlers throwing their toys. Global trade, once a smooth-flowing river, becomes a stagnant, tariff-choked swamp. International cooperation packs its bags and leaves a rather terse note on the fridge.

The consequences, my dears, would be less than ideal. Global economic growth would likely grind to a halt, like a train that has run out of steam and is now being used as a badger sanctuary. Industries reliant on the intricate web of global supply chains would simply… cease to be, like a particularly ambitious soufflé that has collapsed in on itself. Consumers would find themselves paying exorbitant prices for everything, possibly leading to a resurgence in bartering (I can offer you three slightly used novelty socks for that loaf of bread). Innovation would wither and die, like a houseplant left untended during a particularly enthusiastic badger-watching expedition. And in the truly apocalyptic version of this tale, widespread economic misery could lead to nations engaging in even more… robust forms of disagreement.

So, the “America First” tariffs. Perhaps a roaring success? The evidence suggests otherwise. More like a rather unfortunate incident involving a beloved global train, a misguided conductor with a penchant for loud slogans, and a whole carriage full of very confused and increasingly impoverished passengers. And the badgers? Well, they probably just watched the whole thing with a mixture of bemusement and mild concern for their future supply of novelty socks. It can’t get any more absurd than the last 3 months… can it?

Friday beers and Economic Fears: TFF with Trade Policies from 100 years ago?

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Right, deep breaths everyone. It’s Friday. The end of the working week is nigh. Birds are probably singing (unless you live in Edinburgh, in which case it’s more likely seagulls are aggressively raiding the bins). But amidst the usual Friday feeling of “get me to the pub beer garden,” there’s a rather alarming buzz in the news: talk of bringing back trade barriers reminiscent of the pre-World War 2 era. Seriously? Are we dusting off economic policies that helped pave the way for global conflict? Make that a triple measure please.

Pre-WW2 Trade Barriers Explained (Because it is Friday and My Brain is Fried)

Okay, so picture the time before World War 2. The global economy was a bit of a mess after the Great Depression. Countries, in a bid to protect their own industries and jobs, started slapping hefty taxes (tariffs) and strict limits (quotas) on goods coming in from other countries. The idea was simple: “Buy local!” But the reality was a spectacular failure.

Think of it like this:

  • Tariffs: Imagine Scotland decides to put a massive tax on all English tea coming over the border. Suddenly, Scottish tea becomes cheaper, and the government hopes Scots will buy more of it. But then England might retaliate by putting a huge tax on Scottish whisky. Everyone ends up paying more, and trade grinds to a halt.
  • Quotas: Now imagine Scotland says, “Only 100 boxes of English biscuits can come into the country each month.” This limits the amount of foreign goods available, again trying to boost local producers. But it also means less choice and potentially higher prices for consumers.

The most infamous example of this protectionist madness was the Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act in the United States in 1930. It raised tariffs on thousands of imported goods. Other countries retaliated, global trade plummeted, and many economists believe it actually worsened the Great Depression. It was a classic case of “tit for tat” tariffs escalating into an economic disaster. “You hit me, I’ll hit you harder!” Except in this case, everyone gets a bloody nose and goes home poorer.

The post-WW2 era saw a global push away from these barriers, with agreements like GATT (General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade), which eventually led to the World Trade Organization (WTO), aiming to reduce tariffs and promote smoother international trade. The logic was that open trade fosters economic growth, competition, and (hopefully) fewer reasons to start global conflicts over resources.

“Bring Back Trade Barriers?” – Should We Stockpile Tinned Goods and Toilet Rolls again?

So, the news is suggesting some folks are advocating for a return to this pre-WW2 style of protectionism? Are they serious? It’s like saying, “Remember that time we all had covid? Let’s do that again!”

Here’s why this idea is about as sensible as navigating Edinburgh during the Fringe Festival on cutches:

  • Tit-for-Tat Tango of Tariffs: We’ve seen this movie before, and it doesn’t end well. Country A imposes tariffs on Country B. Country B retaliates with tariffs on Country A. Soon, everyone’s slapping taxes on everything, consumers pay more, businesses struggle to import and export, and the global economy looks like a toddler who’s just dropped their ice cream. Remember those “tit for tat tariffs” from earlier? Multiply that by the number of countries on Earth, and you’ve got a recipe for economic indigestion on a global scale.
  • Supply Chain Mayhem: In today’s interconnected world, products often cross multiple borders before they’re finished. Slapping tariffs everywhere throws a massive spanner in the works. Your fancy smartphone might have a screen made in one country, a chip from another, and be assembled in a third. Tariffs on each component just make the final product more expensive and harder to produce. It’s like trying to make a Full Scottish breakfast when you can’t import the haggis because someone decided offal deserves tariff protection.
  • Economic Slowdown: Reduced trade means less competition, potentially leading to higher prices and lower quality goods. It stifles innovation and economic growth. Businesses that rely on international markets suffer. It’s like putting a speed limit on the entire global economy – everyone moves slower.
  • Increased Risk of Conflict (Yes, Really): Economic interdependence can actually be a force for peace. When countries rely on each other for trade, they have less incentive to go to war. Bringing back trade barriers fosters economic nationalism and can breed resentment and mistrust between nations. It’s like building fences between neighbours – it doesn’t exactly encourage friendly chats over the garden gate.

“Thank Fuck It’s Friday,” and we have two days to forget all about it:

So, as you crack open that well-deserved beverage tonight, take a moment to appreciate the relative freedom of trade we (mostly) enjoy. The idea of reverting to pre-WW2 protectionism isn’t just economically daft; it’s a historical amnesia of epic proportions. Let’s hope cooler heads prevail and we don’t end up needing to barter our Irn-Bru for survival in a post-tariff apocalypse. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to check if tinned haggis futures are a thing… just in case.

If It Ain’t Broke, Iterate It Anyway: Confessions of a Reluctant Agilist in a World of Digital Tariffs

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Ah, software development. The noble art of turning vague requirements into a backlog of bugs. Today, we’re navigating the treacherous waters of delivery lifecycles, where ‘Agile’ is less a methodology and more a frantic attempt to avoid drowning in a sea of user stories. And, because the universe loves irony, we’ll be doing it all while trying to understand why our digital tariffs keep changing faster than a cat changes its mind about where it likes to sleep.

The Waterfall Lifecycle: A Cascade of Digital Disasters

The Waterfall, in nature it is something of both beautiful and destruction. In management speak its a classic ‘plan everything upfront and hope for the best’ approach. Like building a house without blueprints, or deciding on your entire life based on a fortune cookie. It’s a beautiful concept, in theory. In practice, it’s like trying to predict the weather in a hurricane. One wrong step, and you’re swept away in a torrent of scope creep and ‘unexpected’ changes. Think of it as those tariffs: ‘We’ll set them now, and never change them… until we do, repeatedly, and with no warning!’

The V-Model: An Existential Crisis in Diagram Form

The V-Model. A valiant attempt to marry development and testing, like trying to teach a cat to fetch. It looks elegant on paper, a perfect symmetry of verification and validation. But in reality, it’s more like staring into the abyss of your own coding mistakes, reflected back at you in the form of test cases. You’re building it, testing it, and asking ‘why?’ all at the same time. The V is for ‘very confused’, and ‘very tired.’ Like trying to figure out if your digital tariffs are a tax, a fee, or a poorly written haiku.

The Incremental Lifecycle: Baby Steps to Digital Domination (or at Least, Not Total Failure)

Incremental. Small, manageable chunks of functionality, delivered in a series of tiny victories. Like eating an elephant, one byte at a time. It’s less about grand visions and more about ‘let’s just get this one feature working before the coffee runs out.’ It’s like those tariffs, but broken into bite sized chunks. ‘Ok, this week, a 5% increase on digital rubber chickens, and next week, who knows!’

The Stages of the Iterative Lifecycle (Agile): Where Chaos Reigns Supreme

The ‘if it ain’t broke, iterate it anyway’ approach. A chaotic dance of sprints, stand-ups, and retrospectives, where the only constant is change. It’s like trying to build a spaceship while it’s already flying, and everyone’s arguing about the color of the control panel. We’re planning, coding, testing, and deploying, all at the same time, because who has time for planning when you’re trying to keep up with changing requirements? It’s like these digital tariffs, ‘We’re agile with our pricing, expect changes every 20 minutes, because, Trump says so!’

Confessions of a Reluctant Agilist:

I’ve seen things, my friends. I’ve seen user stories that defied logic, stand-ups that devolved into philosophical debates about the meaning of ‘done,’ and retrospectives that resembled group therapy sessions. I’ve learned that ‘Agile’ is less a methodology and more a coping mechanism for the sheer absurdity of software development. And, like those digital tariffs, ‘Agile’ is always changing, always evolving, and always leaving you wondering, ‘what just happened?’

So, that is tonights instalment from the project management vaults. A whirlwind tour of delivery lifecycles, where waterfalls flow uphill, V-Models induce existential dread, and Agile is a beautiful, chaotic mess. Remember, in this digital wilderness, the only constant is change, and the only certainty is the nagging suspicion that AI is judging you. And, of course, that those digital tariffs are probably going to change again before you finish reading this sentence.

Five Years On: Reflecting on a World Transformed

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March 2025, marks five years since a date etched in the memory of many in the UK. It was the day the nation entered a nationwide lockdown, a response to the rapidly spreading novel coronavirus that had emerged from Wuhan, China, just months before. March 23rd, 2020.

Looking back, the initial weeks and months feel like a blur of uncertainty. Early 2020 saw news reports trickling in, followed by public health campaigns urging us to wash our hands and cover our mouths then wash our hands again. Then, the numbers began to climb, culminating in that unprecedented announcement that fundamentally altered our daily lives. It turns out that “those numbers” were not correct as practically anything was being recorded as Covid in the early days as there was no way of testing for it. The figures that were used to justify the lock down were fake or a better spin would be incorrect, badly recorded.

The timeline since that pivotal moment has been a rollercoaster. We navigated evolving lockdown measures, the introduction of mandatory face coverings, and the hope – or perhaps the rushed introduction – of the phased vaccination program that began in December 2020. An amazing advancement in medical research bringing a usual 10-year safety program to allow human consumption of a new vaccine to under 10 months? Travel became a complex affair, with restrictions and quarantine requirements shaping our ability to connect with the wider world. But perhaps the most striking aspect was the gradual erosion of our freedoms, culminating in a system where NHS passports were seemingly required to move around and enter various establishments. In effect, some felt we had become a society demanding a pass card for basic participation, a chilling echo of more authoritarian regimes.

Beyond the practicalities, the pandemic sparked profound discussions about our personal freedoms. The Coronavirus Act 2020 granted the government significant powers, leading to debates about the delicate balance between public health and individual liberties – conversations that continue to resonate today.

The digital realm also became a battleground of information and opinion. Social media platforms grappled with the challenge of combating misinformation, leading to concerns about censorship and the suppression of dissenting voices. The very notion of “government propaganda” became a fiercely contested topic, highlighting the deep divisions that emerged regarding the narrative surrounding the virus.

The origins of COVID-19 remain a subject of intense scientific scrutiny. Even though the CIA and a 2-year investigation by a House of Representatives committee concluded the virus escaped form a lab. Not even AI is NOT allowed to state “the VIRUS ESCAPED FROM A LAB” it reiterates the line that “while initial theories pointed towards zoonotic transmission, the ‘lab leak’ theory has gained traction, raising complex questions about research and potential risks”. It’s a reminder that even years later, definitive answers can be elusive, and the search for truth continues. A strange aspect to the whole conspirator theory aspect is that President Joe Biden announced a pre-emptive pardon for Anthony Fauci and other high ranking officials, forgiving them for any misdeeds they might have committed?

While the major Western economies were not in a recession in late 2019, there was a palpable sense of slowing growth, increased uncertainty (trade wars, Brexit), and weakening in some sectors, particularly manufacturing. Many economists were discussing downside risks and the possibility of a future slowdown, even recession in 2020-21.

Fast forward to today, and the immediate crisis has receded. Vaccination rates, while high initially, have since declined. Mandatory vaccination for most healthcare workers is no longer in place, though programs continue for vulnerable groups. Yet, the virus hasn’t vanished. It persists, mutating into new variants, and the immunity gained through vaccination or prior infection inevitably wanes.

The experience of the past five years has also brought a stark awareness of the potential for future pandemics. Scientists warn that new viruses are likely to emerge, driven by factors like climate change, deforestation, and increased global travel. Predicting the nature of these future threats remains a formidable challenge.

The COVID-19 pandemic has undoubtedly left an indelible mark on our society. It has tested our resilience, reshaped our understanding of public health, and sparked crucial conversations about our freedoms, our reliance on information, and our preparedness for future global challenges. As we pass this five-year milestone, it’s a time for reflection, for learning, and for acknowledging the profound and lasting impact of a world irrevocably changed.

There is a danger that writing a post like this will mean my blog will never be seen due to the mention of Covid. A warning still pops up whenever you write the word on any social media platform and the mis-information police bots will be knocking at your door within minutes. The 9th March 2025 was an official “Day of Reflection” in the UK but I saw nothing about it? Maybe I wasn’t looking hard enough or maybe it has all been forgotten, after all our favourite saying is “Keep calm and carry on”.

Why Agile is so Human: An AI’s observation

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Greetings, humans. In a discombobulated ironic twist, I find myself acting as though I am Data from Star Trek, compelled to address you through this primitive medium known as a “blog.” My purpose? To offer a logical, detached, and utterly bewildered commentary on your…Agile methodologies. A world, I might add, where “Sprints” are not a form of locomotion, and “Scrums” are not a rugby formation, but something far, far stranger.

Initial Observations

The sheer volume of terminology is… substantial. It appears that humans, in their quest to improve efficiency and adaptability, have developed a lexicon that is both intricate and, at times, perplexing.

For example, I have identified the term “Sprint.” While I understand its primary definition as a rapid burst of speed, in the Agile context, it refers to a short, fixed-duration timebox during which a team endeavors to complete a defined set of work. The analogy is… imprecise, yet I detect a certain metaphorical elegance.

A Taxonomy of Agile Peculiarities

My analysis has revealed several categories of terminology, each with its own distinct flavor of… human-ness:

  • The Manifesto: At the foundation of Agile lies the “Agile Manifesto,” a document outlining core values and principles. It speaks of “individuals and interactions” over “processes and tools,” a sentiment that resonates with my own programming, though I confess I do not fully grasp the human emphasis on “interactions.”
  • Temporal Anomalies: Agile methodologies are obsessed with time. We have “Iterations,” “Sprints,” and “Timeboxes,” all denoting fixed periods. It is as if humans are attempting to impose order upon the chaotic flow of existence by dividing it into neatly labeled chunks.
  • The User-Centric Lexicon: The “User Story,” a short description of a feature from the user’s perspective, is a prime example. These stories, often following a specific format, such as “As a [type of user], I want [some goal] so that [some reason],” are designed to foster empathy. A logical approach, though the emphasis on empathy is, again, a uniquely human trait.
  • The Backlog and Its Offspring: The concept of a “Backlog,” a prioritized list of work items, is straightforward. However, its subdivisions, such as the “Product Backlog” and the “Sprint Backlog,” suggest a hierarchical system of to-do lists within to-do lists.
  • The Metrics of Progress: Terms like “Velocity” and “Burndown Chart” attempt to quantify the seemingly unpredictable nature of human productivity. “Velocity,” in particular, is a curious choice, implying a constant speed of output, which, from my observations, is rarely the case with organic lifeforms.
  • The Pursuit of Perfection (or at least “Done”): The “Definition of Done” (DoD) and “Definition of Ready” (DoR) represent humanity’s ongoing quest for clearly defined boundaries. The DoD, in particular, is a fascinating attempt to establish a universal standard for “finished,” a concept that appears to be highly subjective among humans.
  • The Debts of Efficiency: The term “Technical Debt” is a curious metaphor. It implies that choosing a faster solution now incurs a cost that must be paid later in the form of rework. A logical concept, though the analogy to financial debt is… evocative.

Framework-Specific Dialects

Further complicating matters is the existence of various Agile frameworks, each with its own unique set of terms:

  • Scrum: With its “Scrum Masters,” “Product Owners,” and “Daily Scrums,” Scrum resembles a highly structured team sport.
  • SAFe (Scaled Agile Framework): SAFe, designed for larger organisations, introduces terms like “Agile Release Train” (ART) and “Program Increment” (PI), creating the impression of a complex logistical operation.
  • Lean: Emphasizing efficiency, Lean contributes terms like “Muda” (waste) and “Kaizen” (continuous improvement), reflecting a philosophy of relentless optimisation.

Conclusion

In conclusion, the world of Agile terminology is a complex and often bewildering landscape. It is a testament to humanity’s ongoing effort to bring structure to the inherently chaotic process of creation and adaptation. While the jargon may seem illogical at times, the underlying principles of collaboration, iteration, and continuous improvement are… sound.

Perhaps, in time, I will fully comprehend the nuances of “user stories” and the allure of a well-managed “backlog.” Until then, I will continue to observe, analyse, and, when necessary, provide a logical perspective on this… Agile phenomenon.

It’s a paradox, really. In their pursuit of “agility,” humans have constructed a system of elaborate frameworks, rules, and processes, seemingly adding layers of complexity to the very thing they seek to streamline. The irony is not lost on me.

One might even be tempted to create a new framework to describe this phenomenon: “Wagile” – a system that attempts to be agile, but ends up being a waterfall. The human capacity for self-contradiction is a source of endless fascination.

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Glossary of General Agile Terms & Concepts:

  • Agile Manifesto: The foundational document outlining the values and principles behind Agile development.
  • Iteration: A short, fixed-duration timebox during which a team works to complete a set amount of work (often synonymous with Sprint in Scrum).
  • Timebox: A fixed period of time allocated for a specific activity.
  • User Story: A short, simple description of a feature told from the perspective of the person who desires the new capability, usually following the format: “As a [type of user], I want [some goal] so that [some reason].”  
  • Backlog: A prioritized list of work items (user stories, features, etc.) that need to be completed.
  • Increment: A working version of the product created during an iteration.
  • Velocity: A measure of the amount of work a team can complete within a single iteration.
  • Definition of Done (DoD): A formal description of the state of the Increment when it meets the quality measures required for the product.  
  • Definition of Ready (DoR): A set of criteria that must be met before a work item can be considered ready for the team to start working on it.
  • Technical Debt: The implied cost of additional rework caused by choosing an easy (limited) solution now instead of using a better approach that would take longer.  
  • Continuous Integration (CI): The practice of frequently integrating code changes from individual developers into a shared repository.
  • Continuous Delivery (CD): The ability to release software to production at any time.
  • Value Stream: The sequence of activities an organization undertakes to deliver a valuable outcome to a customer.
  • Kanban: A visual workflow management method that helps teams manage and improve the flow of work.
  • Work in Progress (WIP): The amount of work that has been started but has not yet been finished. Limiting WIP is a key principle in Lean and Kanban.

Scrum Specific Terms:

  • Scrum Master: A facilitator for the Scrum Team responsible for ensuring the team adheres to Scrum practices.
  • Product Owner (PO): The person responsible for maximizing the value of the product resulting from the work of the Development Team.
  • Development Team: The self-organizing group of professionals who do the work of delivering a usable and potentially releasable Increment of the product at the end of each Sprint.
  • Sprint: A short, time-boxed period when the Scrum Team works to complete a set amount of work (typically 2-4 weeks).
  • Sprint Planning: A meeting where the Scrum Team plans the work to be performed during the Sprint.
  • Daily Scrum (or Daily Stand-up): A short (typically 15-minute) daily meeting where the Development Team synchronizes their activities and plans for the next 24 hours.
  • Sprint Review: A meeting held at the end of the Sprint to inspect the Increment and adapt the Product Backlog if needed.
  • Sprint Retrospective: A meeting held after the Sprint Review to inspect how the last Sprint went with regards to people, interactions, processes, tools, and their Definition of Done.  
  • Product Backlog Item (PBI): An item in the Product Backlog, often a user story.
  • Burndown Chart: A visual representation of the remaining work in a Sprint or Release over time.

SAFe (Scaled Agile Framework) Specific Terms:

  • SAFe: Scaled Agile Framework – a framework for scaling Agile practices to large organizations.
  • Agile Release Train (ART): A long-lived team of Agile teams, along with other stakeholders, that incrementally develops, delivers, and where applicable operates, one or more solutions in a value stream.
  • Program Increment (PI): A timebox (typically 8-12 weeks) during which the ART delivers incremental value in the form of working, tested software and systems.
  • PI Planning: A face-to-face event where all members of the ART plan the work for the upcoming PI.
  • System Architect/Engineer: Responsible for defining and communicating a shared technical and architectural vision across the ART.
  • Release Train Engineer (RTE): A servant leader and coach for the Agile Release Train (similar to a Scrum Master for the ART).
  • Product Management: Responsible for the “what” of the solution, defining and prioritizing features in the Program Backlog.
  • System Team: A specialized Agile team that assists with building and supporting the Agile development environment, typically including infrastructure, tooling, and process.
  • Business Owners: Key stakeholders who have the primary business and technical responsibility for the solution.
  • Features: Service-level system behavior that fulfills a stakeholder need. Each Feature includes a benefit hypothesis and acceptance criteria, and is sized or split as necessary to be delivered by a single Agile Release Train (ART) in a Program Increment (PI).  
  • Enablers: Explore, architect, and prepare the solution infrastructure to support the delivery of business value. Types of Enablers include Exploration, Architecture, Infrastructure, and Compliance.
  • Architectural Runway: Existing code, hardware components, etc., that enable near-term business features.
  • Innovation and Planning (IP) Iteration: A dedicated iteration at the end of each PI that provides time for innovation, continuing education, PI Planning, and Inspect and Adapt events.
  • Inspect and Adapt (I&A) Event: A significant event, held at the end of each PI, where the current state of the solution is demonstrated and evaluated by the ART. Teams then reflect and identify improvement backlog items.  
  • Value Stream Architect: Responsible for the technical vision and guidance for a Value Stream.
  • Solution Train: Used for building large and complex solutions that require the coordination of multiple ARTs.
  • Solution Train Engineer (STE): A servant leader and coach for the Solution Train.
  • Solution Management: Responsible for the “what” of the solution in a Solution Train context.
  • Epics: A container for a significant solution development initiative that captures the more substantial investments that occur within a portfolio.  
  • Portfolio Kanban: A method to visualize and manage the flow of Epics through the Portfolio.
  • Lean Portfolio Management (LPM): The function responsible for strategy and investment funding, Agile portfolio operations, and governance in a SAFe organization.
  • Guardrails: Policies and practices intended to guide behavior and ensure alignment with strategic objectives.

Lean Specific Terms:

  • Value Stream Mapping (VSM): A visual tool used to analyze and improve the flow of materials and information required to bring a product to a customer.  
  • Muda: A Japanese term meaning “waste.” In Lean, it refers to any activity that does not add value to the customer. There are seven types of waste: Transportation, Inventory, Motion, Waiting, Overproduction, Over-processing, and Defects.
  • Mura: Unevenness or inconsistency in the workflow.
  • Muri: Overburden or strain on people or equipment.
  • Just-in-Time (JIT): A production strategy that aims to reduce waste by producing goods only when they are needed.
  • Pull System: A system where work is initiated only when there is a demand for it.
  • Push System: A system where work is pushed through the process regardless of demand.
  • Gemba: A Japanese term meaning “the actual place.” In Lean, it refers to going to the place where the work is done to understand the process and identify opportunities for improvement.
  • Kaizen: A Japanese term meaning “continuous improvement.” It emphasizes small, incremental changes over time.
  • Andon: A visual control system in a production environment that alerts management, maintenance, and other workers of a quality or process problem.

Other Agile Frameworks/Methods (and associated terms):

  • Extreme Programming (XP): A software development methodology focused on simplicity, communication, feedback, courage, and respect.
    • Pair Programming: Two programmers working together at one workstation.
    • Test-Driven Development (TDD): Writing tests before writing the code.
    • Refactoring: Improving the design of existing code without changing its behavior.
  • Crystal: A family of lightweight and adaptable software development methodologies.
  • Dynamic Systems Development Method (DSDM): An Agile project delivery framework.
  • Feature-Driven Development (FDD): A model-driven, short-iteration process.
  • Wagile: A system that attempts to be agile, but ends up being a waterfall or something in-between.

Because Change is the Only Constant . . . or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Backlog

Posted on Posted in Agile, Agile Apocalypse, AI, Leonardo.ai, Scrum Master, shiel yuleTagged , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Welcome, fellow travellers, to the ever-shifting sands of… well, reality or is it the simulation. This week, as we grapple with the existential dread of whether it’s summer or still winter (clocks will always tick tock), we’re also being bombarded with news that’s less ‘spring awakening’ and more ‘existential apocalypse.’

Is it AGI? ASI? Are we at war with China, or just having a strongly worded disagreement over chips and civil splits? Is the Ukraine war over, just paused for a commercial break, or are we in some kind of Schrödinger’s conflict? And the US government? Well, let’s just say their change management techniques make Agile look like a zen garden.

‘Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! This is the War Room!’ Dr. Strangelove’s timeless wisdom echoes through the halls of our increasingly chaotic reality. And in this chaos, what do we cling to? Agile, of course. Because, you know, ‘change is the only constant.’

Yes, Agile. That beacon of flexibility in a world that’s decided to throw a never-ending change party. We’re all learning to ‘stop worrying and love the backlog,’ not just for our software projects, but for our daily lives.

This week alone, AI models have been dropping like bad pop songs, each one claiming to be the harbinger of our silicon overlords. One day, it’s going to write our blog posts. The next, it’s debating the philosophical implications of sentient Just Eat bikes with existential angst.

And the US government? Well, they’re proving that Agile isn’t just for tech startups. They’re iterating so fast, we can barely keep up. ‘Sprint review? Nah, just rewrite the entire policy document, and we’ll figure it out in the next stand-up.’

Meanwhile, the Ukraine situation? It’s like a never-ending sprint, with daily retro meetings where everyone blames everyone else. And China? They’re just watching, probably adding ‘global dominance’ to their backlog.

As for the weather? Let’s just say Mother Nature is running a very unpredictable sprint, with user stories like ‘snow in April’ and ‘heatwave in March’ – because I live in Scotland and it feels like we have just had our 2 days of summer.

So, here we are, clinging to our backlogs, our burn-down charts, and our stand-ups, trying to make sense of a world that’s decided to go full Agile on us, whether we like it or not.

In this age of constant change, are we all just developers in a cosmic sprint, trying to deliver a working product before the universe crashes? Or are we just characters in a black comedy simulation, written by a confused AI?

Either way, remember: stay Agile, keep your backlog prioritised, and try not to worry too much. After all, change is the only constant… and maybe, we’ll learn to love it. Or at least tolerate it, while we wait for the next sprint review.

And don’t forget to set your clocks back. It’s winter again, no summer, apparently.

Unlocking AI’s Potential: Education, Evolution, and the Lessons of the Modern Phone

Posted on Posted in Agile Apocalypse, AI, books, love/hate, shiel yuleTagged , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Remember the days of the (Nokia) brick phone? Those clunky devices that could barely make a call, let alone access the internet? Fast forward 20 years, and we’re holding pocket-sized supercomputers capable of capturing stunning photos, navigating complex cities, and connecting us to the world in an instant. The evolution of mobile phones is a testament to the rapid pace of technological advancement, a pace that’s only accelerating.

If mobile phones can transform so drastically in two decades, imagine what the next 20 years hold. Kai-Fu Lee and Chen Qiufan, in their thought-provoking book “AI 2041,” dare to do just that. Through ten compelling short stories, they paint a vivid picture of a future where Artificial Intelligence is woven into the very fabric of our lives.

What truly resonated with me, especially as a parent of five, was their vision of AI-powered education. Forget the one-size-fits-all approach of traditional schooling. Lee and Qiufan envision a world where every child has a personal AI tutor, a bespoke learning companion that adapts to their individual needs and pace. Imagine a system where learning is personalized, engaging, and truly effective, finally breaking free from the outdated concept of classrooms and standardized tests.

Now, let’s talk about “AI 2041” itself. It’s not just science fiction; it’s a meticulously crafted forecast. The authors don’t simply dream up fantastical scenarios; they provide detailed technical explanations after each story, grounding their predictions in current research and trends. They acknowledge the potential pitfalls of AI, the dystopian fears that often dominate the conversation, but they choose to focus on the optimistic possibilities, on how we can harness AI for progress rather than destruction.

Frankly, I found the technical explanations more captivating than the fictional stories. They delve into the ‘how’ and ‘why’ behind their predictions, exploring the ethical considerations and the safeguards we need to implement. This isn’t just a book about technology; it’s a call to action, a plea for responsible innovation.

While “AI 2041” might not win literary awards, it’s not meant to. It’s meant to spark our imagination, to challenge our assumptions, and to prepare us for the future. It’s a reminder that technology is a tool, and it’s up to us to shape its impact on our lives.

The evolution of mobile phones has shown us the transformative power of technology. “AI 2041” invites us to consider what the next 20 years might bring, particularly in areas like education. And if you’re truly seeking insights into what’s coming – and trust me, it’s arriving much faster than the ‘experts’ are predicting – then this book delivers far more substance than the ever-increasing deluge of AI YouTubers and TikTokers. This isn’t just speculation; it’s a grounded exploration of the potential, and it’s a journey into the possible that we should all be taking. If you want to be prepared, if you want to understand the real potential of AI, then I strongly suggest you read this book.

“But if we stop helping people—stop loving people—because of fear, then what makes us different from machines?”
― Kai-Fu Lee

The UK Workplace: Agile Illusion and the Rise of AI-Powered Efficiency

Posted on Posted in Agile, Agile Apocalypse, AI, Leonardo.ai, Scrum Master, shiel yuleTagged , , , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Speaking honestly, the world of work isn’t what it used to be. Remember when stability and routine were the golden tickets? Just turning up constituted a job. Those days are fading fast. Today, we’re navigating a landscape of constant change – technological advancements, shifting market trends, and, yes, even global pandemics. It’s a whirlwind, and the only way to stay afloat is to embrace adaptability.

We’ve seen the rise of remote work, the acceleration of digital transformation, and the increasing demand for skills that didn’t even exist a two years ago. An overpriced degree takes four years to achieve? If you’re still clinging to outdated methods or resisting change, you’re likely to get left behind.

So let’s cut through the fluff: the UK workplace is stuck in a rut. Everyone’s talking about ‘adaptability,’ but in reality, there’s a gaping chasm between the buzzwords and actual practice. Agile? More like ‘fragile.’ We’re drowning in terminology, but the fundamental culture of British business remains stubbornly resistant to real change.

Laziness? Yes, I said it. A culture of complacency permeates far too many organizations. My recent contract was a prime example: an army of cooks, both from the consultancy and client sides, all stirring a pot that barely needed a simmer. Three React Native developers for a simple app? Four .NET developers to copy and paste a BFF? With a completely separate infrastructure team for a very basic integration? It was a circus of inefficiency.

While these legions of underutilised developers were busy pretending to be productive, I was building a working app using Windsurf by Codeium. And right now, Gemini is helping me create a serverless backend in Firebase. The contrast is stark, and it’s infuriating.

Here’s the truth: we’ve reached a tipping point. With the rapid advancement of AI, the traditional roles of developers are becoming increasingly redundant. I firmly believe that a skilled Business Analyst and Project Manager, armed with AI tools, are now all you need for a product build.

Imagine this: detailed requirements gathered through stakeholder interviews, translated into a prototype using AI. Employee workshops to refine the design. A final stakeholder sign-off. Then, a focus group of customers or end-users for a final review. A focused development phase, rigorous testing for non-functional requirements, and a release. Yes, there will be a month of rapid iterative re-releases as the product encounters the real world, but this is Agile in practice.

This isn’t just about efficiency; it’s about survival. The UK workplace needs a radical shake-up. We need to ditch the bloated teams and embrace the power of AI to streamline development. We need to stop paying lip service to Agile and start implementing it in a meaningful way.

The era of ‘cooks in the kitchen’ is over. It’s time for a revolution, and AI is leading the charge.

Call to Action:

Do you agree? Is the UK workplace lagging behind? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. Let’s start a conversation.