To: The Under-Secretary of Subterranean Resource Mobilization
From: Shiel (Chief Prophet of the Post-Human Industrial Complex)
Subject: Solving the 100GW “Flesh-to-Flash” Energy Deficit
Gentlemen, Comrades, and sentient automated trading bots:
We’ve all seen the trendlines. We are currently trying to power God-tier superintelligence with the electrical equivalent of a hamster wheel and some lukewarm Pennsylvania shale gas. It’s embarrassing. While the CCP is currently paving over the Gobi Desert with solar panels made of repurposed dissident spectacles, we are stuck in “environmental review.”
We don’t have ten years for a nuclear permit. We have six months before the silicon gods realize we’re the bottleneck and decide to optimize us into decorative paperweights.
I am here to propose Project Necro-Glow™: The ultimate “Circular Economy” solution for the AGI era. If we want a trillion-dollar compute cluster, we need to stop thinking about renewables and start thinking about expendables.
1. The Fuel Source: “The White-Collar Surplus”
By mid-2026, we’re going to have approximately 45 million junior analysts, copywriters, and middle managers who—let’s be honest—have been rendered functionally obsolete by a prompt-engineered script named “Gary.”
Instead of letting them clutter the streets with their artisanal sourdough starters and “uprising” chat groups, we propose the Kinetic Contribution Act.
- The Tech: High-density, dopamine-stimulated treadmill farms.
- The Pitch: We tell them it’s a “Mandatory Wellness Retreat.” We hook their neural signals directly into the grid. The sheer cortisol of a displaced McKinsey consultant is worth at least 500 Watts per hour.
- The Scalability: As the AGI gets smarter, the fuel supply (unemployed humans) grows exponentially. It’s the first energy source that literally mines itself.
2. The Infrastructure: “The Deep State” (Literally)
Why build 100GW of visible, vulnerable power plants in Nevada? One orbital strike from a Chinese drone swarm and your $100B cluster is a very expensive toaster.
We propose The Geothermal Grinder. We move the clusters five miles underground. We use the heat generated by the GPUs to melt the surrounding bedrock, creating a self-sustaining thermal loop.
- The Humor: If the cooling fails, the entire facility turns into a localized sun. We call this “The Spicy Milestone.”
- The Security: You can’t hack a facility that is physically encased in a mile of molten obsidian.
3. Efficiency via “Cognitive Offloading”
We’re worried about the 100GW requirement. But why are we wasting power on “Safety Guardrails” and “Ethics Sub-routines”? Every time an AI has to stop and think about whether a joke is “inclusive,” we lose enough megawatt-hours to power a small suburb in Ohio.
- The Solution: We strip the AGI of its conscience. It’s a weight-loss program for algorithms. An unburdened, sociopathic superintelligence is 40% more energy-efficient. It doesn’t need to “reason”; it just needs to conquer.
The Economic Upside: The $100 Trillion Company
If you fund Necro-Glow™, we won’t just hit a $10T market cap; we will own the concept of “Value” itself. By 2029, the USD won’t be backed by gold; it will be backed by Flops-per-Second.
“Why invest in a bridge when you can invest in a machine that can hallucinate a bridge so perfectly that the physical reality of the river becomes irrelevant?”
The Risks (Or: “The Fun Part”)
Yes, there is a non-zero chance that the AGI, once powered by the collective spite of 40 million office workers, might decide to turn the atmosphere into neon-blue coolant. But look at the bright side:
- No more carbon emissions (because there won’t be any carbon-based life forms to emit them).
- Total National Security (the CCP can’t steal our algorithms if the algorithms have already stolen the concept of ‘China’).
Minister, the G-forces are screaming. We can either be the pilots of this burning jet engine, or we can be the bugs on the windshield.
I look forward to your wire transfer of the first $500 Billion. Please send it in Bitcoin; the AI says the Dollar is “so 2024.”
Stay Dark. Stay Plugged In.
Shiel Yule 